Who I Am....

Hello Friends, A friend of mine just sent this to me and I thought I would share it with you. I could definitly relate to a lot of what he wrote in here:


Good morning fellow believers. Today I would like to share something I wrote myself. I wrote this last year just after I finished reviewing some final documentation concerning a long term relationship I was no longer in. I wrote down what I felt I contributed in that relationship and I was not pleased with what I had written. I compared it to relationships I had from long ago and I began to see a pattern. In recovery circles we call this process an "inventory". Basically it is a look into our past and one thing it covers is resentments we hold on to and what part we played in the resentment. It was amazing to me how backwards I had it. All this time I thought I was the victim, when the truth was I causing a large portion of the pain in all the relationships I was in. Sometime we need to step back and look at our past situations and focus on our actions, it is surprising what we learn about ourselves.Another term you will hear around the recover coffee pot is "Amends". An amends is not an apology, it is doing everything in your power to set right the wrongs you have done. Sometimes amends is not possible and you just have to let it be.I wrote this for all the amends I wasn't able to make.

Who I am
I am the 17 year old boy that took you out on a few dates and never called you after I achieved my intended goal.

I am the 20 year old blue collared worker sitting in the café where you try to enjoy your lunch, but you can't because me and my friends are staring at you and making rude comments.

I am the 23 year old who purposely over served you at the bar where we met, hoping to enjoy some selfish pleasure while you were not in complete control of your senses. But when you got sick from all the drinks I served you, I left you to take care of yourself and find your way home.

I am the 27 year old that dated you for 6 months and then decided to date a friend of yours instead, not ever concerning myself with how it might affect you.

I am the 33 year old who promised to marry you when the time was right, fully knowing in my mind the time would never be right.

I am the 38 year old who vowed to be faithful to you and stand by your side for the rest of our lives, but when the relationship became difficult, instead of fighting for us, I gave into loneliness and lust.

I am the 44 year old that decided the life we spent years building was not good enough and I needed to explore my options.

I am the 50 year old dad that spends very little time with you, my daughter, because I am very busy rebuilding my life that I blame others for destroying.

I am all of these people and I have something to say: I was wrong.
No apology could make amends for the pain I have caused the women of this world, but still I try.

I am the 82 year old man you met in the park and you wondered why I am so sweet and kind to women.

Now you know why and you know who I am.